Tricia’s episode was filmed in a beautiful town near San Francisco. There were great restaurants, shops, and clean neighborhoods. It wasn’t exactly a place you’d expect someone to be suffering from a ghost. So when I met Tricia, I didn’t expect her story of her ex-boyfriend’s suicide to be so profound.
As the day progressed, and it was my time to allow the energy and her story to come through, it was becoming harder and harder for me to sit and listen. I couldn’t hear what Tricia was saying. My head hurt. Really hurt. But I forced myself to stay present and respect the crew for filming this crucial part.
Next thing I knew, we had to stop. I was silently screaming with pain. I felt like my forehead was hit with a golf ball or hard rock—right above the eyebrow!
I told everyone that I was sorry but that we had to take a break. I knew this was a psychic pain, and I knew I would get a lot of details behind this feeling, but I couldn’t concentrate, no less sit up on the couch and be filmed. Many of the crew members began to massage my forehead and squeeze my hands (acupressure points). After a few minutes, I collected myself, and we resumed filming the show.
I began by feeling her boyfriend’s confusion. He was truly bewildered how he could be “there” and “here” at the same time. It felt to me as if he were floating in a corner, confused about his whereabouts, where to go, what to do. Although I felt the bullet wound in my forehead, I did not feel the absence of the back of his head in the same way. Instead, I felt his confusion about not being whole.
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As his story continued, I felt him come through and explain his heartache and pain for why he decided to end his life. From his point of view (and for most suicide victims) it made very real sense to him at the time—to end the suffering of shame, sadness and guilt. I also channeled him as a boy, about how he was abused, bullied and victimized. I cried for him. I communed with this pain.
But then the energy shifted. And I felt a beautiful, tall man—strong, in the military, proud…and ascended. He was truly an angel, and a higher evolved soul. And from my description, this was Tricia’s friend and roommate from many years ago.
As he stepped forth, he made it clear that he was here on Tricia’s behalf to show this current soul, her ex-boyfriend, David, how to ascend, self-correct, and walk into the light.
As I described this, my hands went into different positions, similar to yoga mudras, as they often do. But then I began to speak on David’s behalf. I heard myself say how he now understood that he could permeate the minds of all those confused people by saying, “put the gun down, put the gun down.”
Such incredible, beautiful words. But what I hadn’t noticed up until that moment was that both my hands were up in the air in the shape of two guns, as if my hands were pistols pointed at my head! As I recited David’s heavenly words, my arms relaxed…I put the “guns” down, and I felt the incredible unconditional love he had for all those who were depressed, sad, or confused! Oh my God. Unbelievable.
As I looked up at Tricia, I noticed everyone was teary eyed. We knew that we had been graced with the power of forgiveness. It was an extraordinary moment...one I would never forget.
Sometimes we find ourselves at a certain point in our lives that feels very uncomfortable. And as mothers, wives, and co-workers, it may feel like it’s always up to us to have all the answers.
Bri was an enchanting, gracious, beautiful woman. Troubled? Yes. Bothered? Definitely. Scared? Absolutely.
Yet I felt her eloquent stability regardless of her unnerving experiences. You see, often people tell me what’s on their mind, what their issues are, and what their dilemmas seem to be. But in this case, this was about a ghost—or a few of them. Although I felt bad for all that Bri was going through, I never felt an imminent threat.
Bri’s stalker was not just individual. In fact, although she’s been terrified on many occasions, I would rather call her intruder a confused visitor.
So let’s break this down.
Because she is such a delicate, nurturing, loving woman, Bri automatically attracts souls who feel they can be understood. However, because she has had to go through certain personal challenges, she has inadvertently made herself vulnerable to fear.
In Bri’s case, a lot of this need “to nurture and mother and take care of you” brought in another lost soul who wanted to be valued. He was a man from the Civil War era who had lost his wife at a young age to disease. He cared for Bri and assumed his caring would be construed as admirable, forthright, and responsible. But it wasn’t.
He walked the halls like he did when he was a commanding officer to make sure everything was ok. He touched her, to make sure she was fine, that the house was in order, that everything would be in its place. He craved her attention since he had lost his wife. And his children were with him. Often they would come to her in the night, asking for her to be their mother and care for them.
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So, as we began to forgive this situation and send light to these experiences, Bri’s father interrupted and came through. He “tagged” onto, or “piggy-backed” this frequency of forgiveness, knowing he could help dissipate her fear by giving her gratitude for her heartfelt thoughts towards him. And as he came, so did her mother, who actually was there all along, waiting for the fear to dissipate.
Bri’s father told her that he was still in the process of forgiving himself, and that it would take some time. He also asked her to forgive him, which coming from anyone, either here or crossed over, is a very courageous thing to do.
I thoroughly enjoyed reminding Bri of her beauty and grace. I explained to her that all of her qualities were unique and worth celebrating—that she never had to change, only empower herself with self-worth and acknowledgement. By allowing this conversation to come up, I saw Bri’s aura lighten and expand. What is wonderful to know is that she will only amplify her greatness with each and every conscious decision to see herself and her family perfectly provided for…now and always!