Grandpa: When I was your age, television was called books.
Fezzik: I just want you to feel you’re doing well. I hate for people to die embarrassed.
Buttercup: You mock my pain!
Man in Black: Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.
Inigo Montoya: You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you.
The Man in Black: You seem a decent fellow. I hate to die.
Inigo Montoya: I just work for Vizzini to pay the bills. There’s not a lot of money in revenge.
Prince Humperdinck: I am your Prince and you will marry me.
Buttercup: I am your servant and I refuse.
Prince Humperdinck: I am you Prince and you cannot refuse.
Buttercup: I am your loyal servant and I just did.
Prince Humperdinck: Refusal means death.
Buttercup: Kill me then.
Man in Black: I do not envy you the headache you will have when you awake. But for now, rest well and dream of large women.
Prince Humperdinck: Tyrone, you know how much I love watching you work, but I’ve got my country’s 500th anniversary to plan, my wedding to arrange, my wife to murder and Guilder to frame for it; I’m swamped.
Count Rugen: Get some rest. If you haven’t got your health, then you haven’t got anything.
Westley: There’s a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. It would be a pity to damage yours.
Vizzini: He didn’t fall?! Inconceivable!
Inigo Montoya: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
Vizzini: You fell victim to one of the classic blunders—the most famous of which is, “Never get involved in a land war in Asia”—but only slightly less well-known is this: “Never go against a Sicilian when death is on the line”! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha…[thunk].
The Impressive Clergyman: Mawage. Mawage is wot bwings us togeder tooday. Mawage, that bwessed awangment, that dweam wifin a dweam… And wuv, tru wuv, will fowow you foweva… So tweasure your wuv.
Prince Humperdinck: Skip to the end.
The Impressive Clergyman: Have you the wing?
Buttercup: We'll never survive.
Westley: Nonsense. You're only saying that because no one ever has.
Inigo Montoya: Hello! My name is Inigo Montoya! You killed my father! Prepare to die!
Count Rugen: Stop saying that!
Inigo Montoya: HELLO! MY NAME IS INIGO MONTOYA! YOU KILLED MY FATHER! PREPARE TO DIE!
Inigo Montoya: Offer me money.
Count Rugen: Yes!
Inigo Montoya: Power, too, promise me that.
Count Rugen: All that I have and more. Please…
Inigo Montoya: Offer me anything I ask for.
Count Rugen: Anything you want…
Inigo Montoya: I want my father back, you son of a b*tch!
The Grandson: Grandpa, maybe you could come over and read it again to me tomorrow.
Grandpa: As you wish.