While smokey barbecues perfume the air and fireworks light up the sky this Fourth of July, let us not forget our brilliant Founding Fathers who signed the intent of our freedom and independence into our country’s conscience 237 years ago on July 4, 1776.
And while we applaud our Founding Fathers’ bravery, intelligence, sacrifice, and ingenuity—let us not keep them at arm’s length as if they were god-like, untouchable creatures! Aside from their admirable qualities that fit so seamlessly into our nation’s ideology, let us take it down a notch or two (or five) and applaud these mortal men for the power of their personal charisma—or dare we say, foxiness?
So for all you history buffs (and for you single ladies who like to live in the past), we take a look at five of our favorite foxy Founding Fathers and reveal their historical man candy stats for your reading pleasure. Enjoy and be free!
Occupations that make him foxy: A true Renaissance man, Franklin lived a dozen lives and was exceptionally good at them all: Among them, he was a printer, almanac maker, politician, statesman, inventor, and diplomat.
Inventions that make him foxy: Who isn’t drawn to a courageous man? Franklin was willing to grapple with electricity (lightning rod), feel the heat (the Franklin stove), and even get sentimentally melodic (glass armonica) in his lifetime.
Flirtatious fox: Despite the beer gut and balding portraits we see of him in his later years, Franklin apparently had a certain je ne sais quoi in the lady department. As a young man, he produced a love child—a son by the name of William—and luckily for Franklin, his later sweetheart and wife, Deborah Reed, took William in as her own.
Years after Deborah died of a stroke, the unattached Franklin became popular among the ladies in France, and he was purportedly a big-time flirt. Can you imagine his pick-up lines?
Occupations that make him foxy: Businessman, Revolutionary
‘Sign’ of his foxiness: His Signature. Who can deny a super rich and politically savvy man with such gorgeous penmanship? That’s what one gets when setting their eyes on Hancock, famous for his signature on the Declaration of Independence.
Although he had his fair share of enemies and business failures, Hancock found his calling in the political realm as the president of the Second Continental Congress. He used his wealth to back the American Revolution and caused a ruckus with Samuel Adams with his involvement in the Boston Tea Party.
Refined Fox: Hancock loved the finer things in life. As one of the wealthiest guys in the Thirteen Colonies, he spared no expense on his home or fine wines, of which he shared with his beautiful wife Dorothy and their two children. He loved beauty and design and was generous to his family and community.
Occupations that make him foxy: Doctor, statesman, judge
Biology of his foxiness: Quite the virile man, Bartlett had 12 children with his wife Mary, who was his cousin (eww, not so foxy).
Psychology of his foxiness: While suffering from a life-threatening fever, which no medicine had pacified at the time, Bartlett decided to ingest cider (against all warning) and discovered his symptoms subsided. This experience changed the course of his life, and once he became a practicing physician, he vowed to adhere to the principles of nature and first-hand experience instead of blindly following the status quo.
Once Bartlett became a legislator and a delegate to the Continental Congress, it was these principles that spilled into his politics. He began building a reputation as a man of instinct and character who was not swayed by outside pressure.
Occupations that make him foxy: War hero, George Washington’s right-hand man, Treasury Secretary
Foxy fighter: Who doesn’t love an underdog? Among the Continental Army officers who served George Washington, none of them had to beat the odds like Hamilton. Born in the West Indies to an impoverished and disgraced family, the ambitious Hamilton impressed his community leaders by learning how to read and write proficiently and deftly picked up skills as a clerk at a trading company. The local clergy paid his ticket to get a formal education in America…and the rest is history—literally.
Romantic fox: While Hamilton proved to be: an excellent solider during the American Revolution, the famed author of The Federalist, and knew how to balance the budget as Treasury Secretary in the late 1700s, he also knew how to woo the ladies.
“I meet you in every dream,” Hamilton wrote to his soon-to-be wife Elizabeth, “and when I wake I cannot close my eyes for ruminating on your sweetness.” The couple would have eight children in total.
Unfortunately, Hamilton wooed more than he should have. A decade into his marriage, he admitted to having an adulterous affair with a young lady, who temporarily ruined his career. The incident became one of the first American political sex scandals in the books…but certainly not the last.
Foxy Demise: He went out like a man. The famous duel between Aaron Burr and Hamilton commenced, and it was Hamilton who was fatally shot, just shy of his 50th birthday.
Occupations that make him foxy: Political Firebrand, Beer Model
Foxy Rebel With a Cause: Although Adams is considered to be one of the more polarizing political figures in history for his fierce propaganda against the British, his bad-boy status probably gave him brownie points with the ladies. He was said to have played a major role in the Boston Tea Party, as well as the First and Second Continental Congresses. Thomas Jefferson reportedly called him “The Man” of the American Revolution.
Foxy brewer:…Well, more maltster. As a partner in his family’s malthouse, Adams, and many generations of his kin, produced malt, which in turn was used to brew beer. As the saying goes: Never get between a man and his malt.
Forever-young fox: By the time he turned 70, Adams was a husband twice over, with two surviving children, and a political resume with more highs and lows than a roller coaster. But even in his old age, Adams was described as a man with very few wrinkles and a nice forehead…which back in the day, were especially in short supply, considering Botox wasn’t on the market.