Todd Akin's Worst Week Ever, LL Cool J Obliterates Burglar

Foot in Mouth? Todd Akin Divides Republican Party with Abortion Talk

Republicans have a reputation for being strongly united on most fronts, but GOP Senate nominee of Missouri Todd Akin has put the party in a pickle when news came out about his anti-abortion comments: According to Akin, in cases of "legitimate rape" women most likely will not get pregnant, and thus, exceptions for abortions aren't necessary.

Although he's publicly apologized for his remarks, many high-ranking Republicans—including Senator John McCain and presidential candidate Mitt Romney (who reportedly does not want the A-word to edge its way into the national debate)—are telling Akin to bail on his run for the Senate. But the congressman is refusing. Needless to say, his Democratic contender, Senator Claire McCaskill, takes issue with him.

“It is beyond comprehension that someone can be so ignorant about the emotional and physical trauma brought on by rape,” McCaskill stated. “The ideas that Todd Akin has expressed about the serious crime of rape and the impact on its victims are offensive.”

Adding fuel to the fire, the Huffington Post resurrected some of Akin's past comments on gay marriage.

"From a practical point of view, to preserve our civilization and society, it's important for us to preserve marriage," he said in 2006. "Anybody who knows something about the history of the human race knows that there is no civilization which has condoned homosexual marriage widely and openly that has long survived."

Aside from his controversial comments, we want to be clear that his controversial combover is not up for discussion.

Source: Washington Post

This Stings: Diana Nyad Fails to Swim From Cuba to Florida Due to Jellyfish

Diana Nyad has relinquished her dream of becoming the first person to swim from Cuba to Florida, thanks to daggum jellyfish of all things.

This was the fourth try for the 63-year-old long distance swimmer, who was candid about her frustration of having to accept the reality of bad weather and of sea creatures that apparently have something against senior citizens who want to challenge themselves beyond playing a wicked game of Bingo.

"I've been dreaming of this crossing for 35 years now and tried it four times. And should I say that there's no disappointment? No," she said. "I'm not going to get that moment I dreamed of for so long."

Source: ESPN

Lessons From the Heart: Rosie O'Donnell Suffers Scary Heart Attack

Rosie O'Donnell recently suffered a heart attack and discovered she had a 99 percent blockage to her coronary artery, reports FOX News.

According to the TV personality, she took some Bayer Aspirin after experiencing nausea and chest pains last week and is currently eating Grape Nuts as part of her recovery process. (Talk about endorsement opportunities.)

WATCH: Rosie O'Donnell's Bio Video Here

Besides the fact that she's alive, O'Donnell can also rest happy knowing that even her nemesis Donald Trump sends his love. ".@Rosie, get better fast. I'm starting to miss you!" he tweeted. The comedienne joked back, saying he was "trying to kill" her.

Elisabeth Hasselbeck, it's your turn...

Olympian Swimmer Ryan Lochte to be the Next Bachelor?

Fresh from partying with Sin City Prince Harry and promoting his cameo appearance on the CW's 90210, Ryan Lochte is said to be in preliminary talks to be the next Bachelor.

Inquiring minds want to know: If the Olympian hunk ends up being on the ABC hit show, will he speak faster than usual his turtle mode, wear his $25K grillz during rose ceremonies, and say "Jeah" throughout the season?

Source: E!

'Mama Said Knock You Out': LL Cool J Gives Suspected Burglar a Major Beat Down

LL Cool J's signature biceps got some real-life usage this week when the rapper/actor heard noises coming from his kitchen Wednesday morning and discovered a suspected burglar in his L.A. house. (We figure the intruder was going for his whey protein.)  

The culprit, Jonathan Kirby, 56, allegedly charged at the NCIS: Los Angeles star, and in turn, the latter gave him a broken jaw, nose, and ribs before police arrived.

Kirby, who's facing his third violent felony, could get up to 38 years in prison.

Source: L.A. Times